
It's a common criticism of my generation – Gen X or the Millennials – that we don't know how to handle bumps in the road.
We've grown up without threats of another world war or an impending nuclear fall-out. We've been showered with trophies for simply participating, not for actually winning. We've been overindulged by helicopter parents who didn't say no enough. We've been entitled to comforts and technology unthought of in our parents' childhoods. And we expect things to go our way because we were inculcated with the tenets of the American Dream that said that you deserve something if you work hard enough for it.
Perhaps some of those criticisms are valid. But that's not what she said that afternoon. She said it was about control.
"We didn't have as much control over our lives as your generation does," my aunt explained, "As your grandpa used to say, you just have to roll with the punches."
But my generation isn't used to having to roll with the punches.
Perhaps some of those criticisms are valid. But that's not what she said that afternoon. She said it was about control.
"We didn't have as much control over our lives as your generation does," my aunt explained, "As your grandpa used to say, you just have to roll with the punches."
But my generation isn't used to having to roll with the punches.
We don't see the value in getting punched, at least not in and of itself. It's as if we don't think we should weather the storm because we now have the power to divert the weather and prevent the storm in the first place. What's the point of getting soaked when your can manufacture clear, sunny skies for most of your life?
As a woman, I also understand that I have more control over my life than the vast majority of women who are living have and who have ever lived had. For one, I am not classified as a piece of property to be transferred from father to husband; I am a human being. I can choose a life of both/and – of both marriage and career, of both family and an advanced degree, of both faith and doubt.
Even though we have unprecedented control over our lives now – from education to relationships to religion to careers – there are still times when we must come face to face with the unsettling, yet very human fact that we are not in complete control of our lives. Relationships don't turn out as expected. The pregnancy test refuses to show two lines. The job doesn't come through. Our bodies betray us with sickness. Our friends let us down. The writing community we adore keeps ignoring us. Our manuscripts go unnoticed. Even God may not answer our cries for some time...or even a while.
It is in these moments, we realize how little control we really have over our lives.
As a woman, I also understand that I have more control over my life than the vast majority of women who are living have and who have ever lived had. For one, I am not classified as a piece of property to be transferred from father to husband; I am a human being. I can choose a life of both/and – of both marriage and career, of both family and an advanced degree, of both faith and doubt.
Even though we have unprecedented control over our lives now – from education to relationships to religion to careers – there are still times when we must come face to face with the unsettling, yet very human fact that we are not in complete control of our lives. Relationships don't turn out as expected. The pregnancy test refuses to show two lines. The job doesn't come through. Our bodies betray us with sickness. Our friends let us down. The writing community we adore keeps ignoring us. Our manuscripts go unnoticed. Even God may not answer our cries for some time...or even a while.
It is in these moments, we realize how little control we really have over our lives.
We realize that we are only human but also fearfully and wonderfully made. And we decide whether to throw a temper tantrum or roll with the punches when we don't get our way.
I've thrown enough temper tantrums over the last several months. I've flailed and screamed and kicked on the floor, raging when I really, really wanted that thing but I didn't get it. I cried out to God to answer me, to at least explain why I couldn't have that thing, to prove that He is still good as I wrestle with doubt. Sometimes God answered, sometimes not.
So in this season as I strive to thrive, I will try a different tactic: I will roll with the punches. I will take each setback or tentative hope with more grace and humility, not taking for granted that my generation truly has more control over our lives. I will continue to work like it depends on me, but pray like it depends on God.
But I'm also giving a few punches of my own. I'm not giving up the fight for control and options that easily.
--
Photo credit: KWDesigns
I've thrown enough temper tantrums over the last several months. I've flailed and screamed and kicked on the floor, raging when I really, really wanted that thing but I didn't get it. I cried out to God to answer me, to at least explain why I couldn't have that thing, to prove that He is still good as I wrestle with doubt. Sometimes God answered, sometimes not.
So in this season as I strive to thrive, I will try a different tactic: I will roll with the punches. I will take each setback or tentative hope with more grace and humility, not taking for granted that my generation truly has more control over our lives. I will continue to work like it depends on me, but pray like it depends on God.
But I'm also giving a few punches of my own. I'm not giving up the fight for control and options that easily.
--
Photo credit: KWDesigns


