For those who are unfamiliar with the ongoing (and often raging) debate within Christianity between complementarians and egalitarians, here is a basic primer of the two camps.
- Complementarianism is a theological view held by some Christians that men and women have different but complementary roles and responsibilities in marriage, family life, religious leadership, and elsewhere. The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) "affirms and promotes the biblical truth that men and women are equal in the image of God, but maintain complementary differences in role and function. In the home, men lovingly are to lead their wives and family as women intelligently are to submit to the leadership of their husbands. In the church, while men and women share equally in the blessings of salvation, some governing and teaching roles are restricted to men."
- Egalitarianism is a theological view held by some Christians that men and women of all racial, ethnic, economic, and gender identities are fundamentally equal. Christians for Biblical Equality (CBE) "affirms and promotes the biblical truth that all believers—without regard to gender, ethnicity or class—must exercise their God-given gifts with equal authority and equal responsibility in church, home and world."
Retha at Biblical Personhood examines these two camps further in this post, noting that not all complementarians are alike, just as not all egalitarians are carbon copies of one another. Nevertheless, I would argue that it is inherently more difficult to be the same when there is no preset structure for your relationship as with most complementarians. Also note that the CBMW was founded in the late 1980s as a reaction against feminist egalitarianism and its growing influence and "tragic effects on the home and the church."
This week, Rachel Held Evans is hosting a series entitled “One in Christ – A Week of Mutuality” to highlight the theological, social, and relational benefits of egalitarianism. She noted how she often criticizes the patriarchy (that is, complementarianism), but does not often argue why egalitarianism is a more equitable and loving choice. She has invited readers to cross-post previous and new posts on their own experiences and thoughts on egalitarianism. I've included some of my personal writing below on this topic, and am eager to read yours, as well. Post in the comments or link up with Rachel this week and I will check them out!
This week, Rachel Held Evans is hosting a series entitled “One in Christ – A Week of Mutuality” to highlight the theological, social, and relational benefits of egalitarianism. She noted how she often criticizes the patriarchy (that is, complementarianism), but does not often argue why egalitarianism is a more equitable and loving choice. She has invited readers to cross-post previous and new posts on their own experiences and thoughts on egalitarianism. I've included some of my personal writing below on this topic, and am eager to read yours, as well. Post in the comments or link up with Rachel this week and I will check them out!
Followers of Christ submitting (deferring) to one another. In the footsteps of Christ, we seek selflessness: others’ needs come before our own. We seek others’ maturity and growth in their faith over our own advancement and comfort. As Jesus to one another, we help our brothers and sisters follow God’s call for their lives and reach their God-given potential.
I submit to my husband. My husband submits to me. We mutually submit to one another. For those who will pray for our souls given our "radical feminist interpretation" of these difficult verses to swallow, so be it. We do not see this as a salvation issue, and we do consider this to be an incredibly complicated, personal matter for husbands and wives to respectfully decide together. And yet, we find comfort in knowing that Paul even realizes that this is a profound mystery.
We are changing our name to a whole new name because the bottom line is that we see this as a calling. This is something we're called to do. And faced with bucking cultural norms and being disobedient to God's calling for our marriage (let alone the first real public act of oneness), we must choose obedience. But we'll need all the courage, humility, grace, and support we can get.
The author's words resonated with me as she described how "name changing can signify an act of transformation, assimilation, or oppression. When the Lord changes Sarai to Sarah, Simon to Peter, or Saul to Paul, there is an outward manifestation of an inward change of character and loyalties." Upon entering the lifelong covenant of marriage together, M and I experienced an inward change of character and loyalties; therefore, it seemed consistent with our values and goals to seek an outward manifestation of that. Our name is one of those ways.
